Quitting Smoking: Day 1
Yesterday night I had decided to quit smoking, because I do not need an external substance to feel good or okay. I have a decent life and the experiences within it is enough. Then today, I woke up around 11 AM, had a class at 11:45, didn’t smoke in morning because had no stash. Although one dear friend called in morning to know if I needed any as he knew my stash had ended. I politely declined. After wearing jeans and shirt over my abraised knee, elbow and shoulders(it hurts) it felt like i need to smoke, but just went to the class. When the class ended bunch of people went outside to smoke, I decided to head back to hostel. As I do not have my bike with me currently I walked the back road to hostel.
I decided not to go for lunch and just complete my sleep as I had not slept well last night. I watched youtube video for a while, then slept to wake up at 7PM. But before the shortlist for Tata Capital was out, I guess around 5pm one friend had woken me up by knocking at my door and telling me I am in Tata’s list. He was right, when I woke up I had been selected for Interview. It felt good, a kind of relief, a good news in a pile of bad ones.
Decided to go to Brown Cherry for dinner, went with one friend who has never been there. He ended up liking the place, after dinner we decided to go to chai cafe, but then went to Hyderabadi Tea Point. It was a smoky environment. After waiting for tea for a while, I had already smoked passively. Looking at those people I did not felt bad for them, I just felt that is their choice and this is my choice (i.e. not smoking).
But by the time I got my tea, I had decided to smoke one last one, before the big break. I smoked one dear old advance. Since it was my first cigarrete in last 30hrs, it felt good. I felt high. Then I decided yes that was it, no more cigarretes today. I kept that promise. Didn’t bring any with me. And tomorrow with Tata Capital’s process I will get the next chance to smoke tomorrow evening, If I don’t actively try to smoke. Because If I want to then I can just knock on anyone’s door and get a few. It’s like people don’t hesitate in sharing cigarrets for some reason.
Conclusion
But I honestly want to quit and if I can maintain one cigarrete a day or even less. Then I will one day give up for sure.
Let’s hope I don’t smoke tomorrow even a single one, even when I get a chance to, even when I get offered several times like today.
P.S. I had a different wordpress account open, I might have posted this to the colleges website. Thank god, I caught this mistake when I was adding image to this post. (Who knows what the faculties had to say about my quitting journey (dear, ### you are rusticated from this esteemed college, bye bye) 🙂
